love is such a scary and amazing thing..
it can cause you to do irradical things that you know deep down in your mind that you shouldnt be doing that.. i think i am getting dumber..

previously i was caught in a situation whether or not to go gip for 6 months.. its not really a very long time.. yet it seems really long.. like.. anything can change..in the 6 months..

many things went through my mind.. like.. dance.. how much i will missed out.. driving test date.. i will missed it if i go china..and i will have to renew my PDL.. and may have to retake my FTT.. doh.. what else? my studies.. i will have to overload so much more.. more than other people.. need to really stay focus when i come back.. my church.. i am so going to miss my church.. and of cos.. how can i forget my friends.. the every friday night clubbing sessions.. and.. lastly.. that guy..

i thought of giving up my gip experience for him.. convincing myself that i will be losing out on alot of things if i go.. at last.. i decided not to go..

yet.. yet.. it just make me realised that love is so vulnerable.. we dated for about 1 month plus.. and yet he changed his mind..saying his feelings faded..

because of some things that happened in the past.. i tried to be serious in this relationship.. being serious.. yet.. he isnt lah.. what can i do? i am not bitter.. when he told mi forget it.. i really put down my feeling immediately.. and recovered the next day.. even shirleen said i am amazing.. maybe i am.. but its not really up to my choice..

maybe i was disappointed.. like really disappointed.. i decided to just forget the things here... go overseas..

and until i got to encounter this really cute guy.. and i cant believe that i even let my decision waiver for a bit.. that was when i decided enough is enough.. i will go regardless what happen..i seriously dont wanna let whatever love or feeling get the better of me..

i told myself not not not.. to have any single bit of feelings for anyone.. not even a crush.. cause i am going to shanghai.. what a dumb me.. is it possible? ha.. God knows..